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Showing posts from October, 2018

Love me anyway

Look at me, I am flawed. I don't have perfect rows of pearly white teeth They're stained a bit yellow even thou I brush every day. My body isn't all too great either I don't have a six pack and my chest is flat, I let it be. My voice sure as hell isn't going to make you swoon It's raspy and out of tune and my singing might kill you. What I am saying is, I am not perfect but love me anyway. My mind is rather dirty, it sees and imagines a lot I can't control it but I promise I am very loyal. My heart is riddled with fear, pain, and suffering Yet I'm still willing to love and trust, I'm actually very eager So please don't take my senile narcism as reject. I'm projecting. I can't really promise you that we'll last forever I can only love you and hope that will be enough for you to stay What I am saying is I'm not the greatest boyfriend but please love me anyway. I am very insecure, needy and clingy I can't help

Shame my community

There’s a lot of shame in the community And It almost killed me to have his lecherous body drain me of blood As though I shouldn’t be in the water. Not Everybody wants swim in my community Or walk across the lake unafraid There are shakes in the water, you'd think Why must we give them so much power Why must you live like a shadow Hiding from yourself Selling yourself short of love Don't let it consume you So holding my hand is criminal to the biblical eye Stepping out of my dorm-room is a travesty Loving me and owning it is a life sentence of shame Why must you give them so much power over your soul. it's crippled  from all the time it has had to break and bend to please the morally supreme The self proclaimed righteous Who over looks himself. Why must we walk as slaves without chains Carry the cross that hinders our happiness Why must we be so shameful to walk, talk and live in our truth Why must our sublime not be seen

lump

A mistake I made Its amazing how much power there is in just a moment I betrayed my body, mind and soul And I crumbled, suffocated for days My spirit asked to be laid to rest My entire being shook and held me accountable It was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me A trigger that I pulled I’ve been healing from being both the perpetrator and victim My mind is in a complete flux Everything collapsing in and out Like building blocks crumbling, folding Damaging and grinding while simultaneously Healing itself I've Shut down in construction of a protective shield Trying to keep me together and alive. My mind and body shall be held captive and protected Banished from the self-serving need of feeding itself skin against skin it was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me And i'm sorry lump... collectively Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from th

I tried to fight it

I feel morbid I can't define it, it's like this thing A rake of sorts just clawing at my core Scratching and scratching, pulling away from the sanity It won't stop, it can't stop. I don't know what it wants but I know to keep away I struggle against its demands of submission and surrender So I fight but every day feels like death mauls me I'm scared, broken and damaged by all this emotion I feel dead yet I breathe and smile Going unnoticed still and I silently yell for help It feels like my heart is crawling on the jagged ground Bloodying it ever so diligently so as to leave a trail So that they will see so that they'll understand When I'm all but gone and none of me remains When the Grimm reaper has collected his fair They'll understand I couldn't stop myself The rake reached my core and snuffed it like candlelight I couldn't keep away, I submitted And with the submission so went my life