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Would You Stay

Would you stay with me even if...
Even if we weren't even, I mean
Would you love me even when I no longer say it?
When my fears consume me and I run
When I lose myself to insecurities not cured
When my will falters and I seek escape
Could you really handle my inconsistency
Coz I won't lie to you, I'm an emotional pendulum
Never the same long enough to enjoy
I'll twist your thoughts and turn your heart
I'll test your patience to the extreme, and then some
I'll beg to be the center of your universe
To be the sun to your solar system and yet
I'll treat you like Pluto, unsure of what you are
Yet refusing to let you leave my orbit.
I can be selfless, selflessly selfish
I'll love you like no other and show you the rarest wonders
I'll win you, mind, body and soul
I'll bury them up so deep down, you'd drown before you reach them
I'll embed myself so deeply into you, I'll echo always
Even in my absence I'll echo, everything and …
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Poetry

Poetry is an intimate conversation with a stranger.
It is stretching out your hand, into the darkness and not knowing how many people will grabe hold.

Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from the author

It's all right little boy

It's all right little boy,
It's alright fragile heart
The pain will go away at some point
Give it time, it has healing powers.
But it's not strong enough, not even close
The pain is only gettin worse, festering and growing
It's almost all I know anymore
The smiles and laughs are harder to pronounce now
This deep craving for attention is all consuning
Yet I'm always alone, even surrounded I'm alone
It's all just a bit much for me
You aren't there to hold me up
You aren't here to brush my tears away
You aren't here to say it's all right
You have my heart and I have your absence

Love me anyway

Look at me, I am flawed.
I don't have perfect rows of pearly white teeth
They're stained a bit yellow even thou I brush every day.
My body isn't all too great either
I don't have a six pack and my chest is flat, I let it be.
My voice sure as hell isn't going to make you swoon
It's raspy and out of tune and my singing might kill you.
What I am saying is, I am not perfect but love me anyway.

My mind is rather dirty, it sees and imagines a lot
I can't control it but I promise I am very loyal.
My heart is riddled with fear, pain, and suffering
Yet I'm still willing to love and trust, I'm actually very eager
So please don't take my senile narcism as reject. I'm projecting.
I can't really promise you that we'll last forever
I can only love you and hope that will be enough for you to stay
What I am saying is I'm not the greatest boyfriend but please love me anyway.

I am very insecure, needy and clingy
I can't help it when I love I t…

Shame my community

There’s a lot of shame in the community And It almost killed me to have his lecherous body drain me of blood
As though I shouldn’t be in the water. Not Everybody wants swim in my community Or walk across the lake unafraid There are shakes in the water, you'd think
Why must we give them so much power Why must you live like a shadow Hiding from yourself Selling yourself short of love Don't let it consume you
So holding my hand is criminal to the biblical eye Stepping out of my dorm-room is a travesty Loving me and owning it is a life sentence of shame Why must you give them so much power
over your soul.
it's crippled  from all the time
it has had to break and bend to please the morally supreme
The self proclaimed righteous
Who over looks himself.
Why must we walk as slaves without chains Carry the cross that hinders our happiness Why must we be so shameful
to walk, talk and live in our truth Why must our sublime not be seen or felt There's just a lot of shame in my…

lump

A mistake I made Its amazing how much power there is in just a moment I betrayed my body, mind and soul And I crumbled, suffocated for days My spirit asked to be laid to rest My entire being shook and held me accountable
It was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me A trigger that I pulled I’ve been healing from being both the perpetrator and victim My mind is in a complete flux Everything collapsing in and out Like building blocks crumbling, folding Damaging and grinding while simultaneously Healing itself
I've Shut down in construction of a protective shield Trying to keep me together and alive. My mind and body shall be held captive and protected Banished from the self-serving need of feeding itself skin against skin it was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me
And i'm sorry lump... collectively

Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from the author

I tried to fight it

I feel morbid
I can't define it, it's like this thing
A rake of sorts just clawing at my core
Scratching and scratching, pulling away from the sanity
It won't stop, it can't stop.
I don't know what it wants but I know to keep away
I struggle against its demands of submission and surrender
So I fight but every day feels like death mauls me
I'm scared, broken and damaged by all this emotion
I feel dead yet I breathe and smile
Going unnoticed still and I silently yell for help
It feels like my heart is crawling on the jagged ground
Bloodying it ever so diligently so as to leave a trail
So that they will see so that they'll understand
When I'm all but gone and none of me remains
When the Grimm reaper has collected his fair
They'll understand I couldn't stop myself
The rake reached my core and snuffed it like candlelight
I couldn't keep away, I submitted
And with the submission so went my life