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It's all right little boy

It's all right little boy,
It's alright fragile heart
The pain will go away at some point
Give it time, it has healing powers.
But it's not strong enough, not even close
The pain is only gettin worse, festering and growing
It's almost all I know anymore
The smiles and laughs are harder to pronounce now
This deep craving for attention is all consuning
Yet I'm always alone, even surrounded I'm alone
It's all just a bit much for me
You aren't there to hold me up
You aren't here to brush my tears away
You aren't here to say it's all right
You have my heart and I have your absence

Recent posts

Love me anyway

Look at me, I am flawed.
I don't have perfect rows of pearly white teeth
They're stained a bit yellow even thou I brush every day.
My body isn't all too great either
I don't have a six pack and my chest is flat, I let it be.
My voice sure as hell isn't going to make you swoon
It's raspy and out of tune and my singing might kill you.
What I am saying is, I am not perfect but love me anyway.

My mind is rather dirty, it sees and imagines a lot
I can't control it but I promise I am very loyal.
My heart is riddled with fear, pain, and suffering
Yet I'm still willing to love and trust, I'm actually very eager
So please don't take my senile narcism as reject. I'm projecting.
I can't really promise you that we'll last forever
I can only love you and hope that will be enough for you to stay
What I am saying is I'm not the greatest boyfriend but please love me anyway.

I am very insecure, needy and clingy
I can't help it when I love I t…

Shame my community

There’s a lot of shame in the community And It almost killed me to have his lecherous body drain me of blood
As though I shouldn’t be in the water. Not Everybody wants swim in my community Or walk across the lake unafraid There are shakes in the water, you'd think
Why must we give them so much power Why must you live like a shadow Hiding from yourself Selling yourself short of love Don't let it consume you
So holding my hand is criminal to the biblical eye Stepping out of my dorm-room is a travesty Loving me and owning it is a life sentence of shame Why must you give them so much power
over your soul.
it's crippled  from all the time
it has had to break and bend to please the morally supreme
The self proclaimed righteous
Who over looks himself.
Why must we walk as slaves without chains Carry the cross that hinders our happiness Why must we be so shameful
to walk, talk and live in our truth Why must our sublime not be seen or felt There's just a lot of shame in my…

lump

A mistake I made Its amazing how much power there is in just a moment I betrayed my body, mind and soul And I crumbled, suffocated for days My spirit asked to be laid to rest My entire being shook and held me accountable
It was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me A trigger that I pulled I’ve been healing from being both the perpetrator and victim My mind is in a complete flux Everything collapsing in and out Like building blocks crumbling, folding Damaging and grinding while simultaneously Healing itself
I've Shut down in construction of a protective shield Trying to keep me together and alive. My mind and body shall be held captive and protected Banished from the self-serving need of feeding itself skin against skin it was a temporary moment of insanity that almost killed me
And i'm sorry lump... collectively

Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from the author

I tried to fight it

I feel morbid
I can't define it, it's like this thing
A rake of sorts just clawing at my core
Scratching and scratching, pulling away from the sanity
It won't stop, it can't stop.
I don't know what it wants but I know to keep away
I struggle against its demands of submission and surrender
So I fight but every day feels like death mauls me
I'm scared, broken and damaged by all this emotion
I feel dead yet I breathe and smile
Going unnoticed still and I silently yell for help
It feels like my heart is crawling on the jagged ground
Bloodying it ever so diligently so as to leave a trail
So that they will see so that they'll understand
When I'm all but gone and none of me remains
When the Grimm reaper has collected his fair
They'll understand I couldn't stop myself
The rake reached my core and snuffed it like candlelight
I couldn't keep away, I submitted
And with the submission so went my life

bond/debt

Your a butterfly and you can't be hanging
around caterpillars.
Do not web your wings or ceil them in candle wax
to walk upon what has been shattered
life is about growth,
So ignite your wings and fly unafraid
We come and go into people's lives to
fulfill destinies, whether it is to uplift each other,
heal one another or find growth, but
We are not bond to anyone, we are not chained
We are not obliged to suffocate at expense
Nor does the issuer owes the holder.
And the door doesn't have to be closed off
because we now fly, because we've evolved and
it should never mean that the love wasn't real
When we walked side by side, feet on the ground
before we found our wings and claimed the sky's
currents that swept  us off our feet.
Hear me,
we are gifts and the greatest gifts
I pray you find true love, the love of your life.
I hope we find the shape of us all.

Disclaimer: property of Fanelesibonge Nicholus Sibisi, Do not duplicate in any form without consent from the a…

Not written in the stars

I know I'm not perfect, I'm not trying to be.
I am heavily flawed and broken
Serving as a vessel to bear and hold.
Hold all of the good and the bad.
I know I'm no saint, neither are you.
Nor are you perfect or complete or whole
You too are an empty vessel.
We both recklessly wonder towards the light
Stepping on broken glass and rose thorns,
We lose ourselves in the pain of it all
But we always wonder back.
Maybe our paths will cross somehow
Until then we'll both remain imperfect and empty
We'll remain imperfect and empty.
Until fate grants us her grace
And we meet by chance alone
Maybe then our respective flaws will fill each other
And we'll wander aimlessly as one.